Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me… or at least Flo Perry’s book.
I picked up “How to Have Feminist Sex: Lessons in Life, Love and Self-Confidence” (HHFS) knowing nothing about the author or contents and what a treat it has been. Despite what the title may lead you to believe, the book isn’t a raunchy how to of sex positions and dildos, although they do get several honourable mentions. Instead it reads as a kind and responsible sex education for all ages. It’s the kind of book I wished I had been handed age 15 instead of (or at least in addition to) the numerous pictures of diseased genitalia that we were shown in sex education class.
As (I like to think) a well-informed adult, the book didn’t revolutionise my understanding of ‘life, love and self-confidence’. But it did serve as a great reminder. The text of the book wasn’t just thoughtful and considered, exercises in self-confidence like ‘Use this space to list positive things about your body’ gives a genuine impact on the reader. It makes you want to be kinder to yourself, which in my opinion is a sign of a good book.
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My paperback is out TODAY! I wrote my book in the hope that people would start thinking more actively about their sex lives, analysing their beliefs and choosing which ones to keep and which ones to replace. So many women subconsciously or even consciously believe that they don't deserve pleasure, that if they sleep with too many people they'll be dirty, that being fat means being ugly, that wanking is gross. I wanted to write a book that challenged these beliefs and replaced them with the beliefs that sex is fun, sex is important, fat is beautiful, wanking is the best, and that we all deserve a fulfilling sex life. HOW TO HAVE FEMINIST SEX is out in paperback is all good bookshops and some bad ones too. Link in my bio xxx
The book covers a huge variety of topics relating to sex, from consent to body positivity, and much much more. It’s a book that has something for everyone and delivers it with Perry’s quick wit. It covers the nitty gritty stuff that we just didn’t learn in sex education, and explains why it’s so important.
The most special part of the book though, comes in Perry’s amazing illustrations. In her own words she’s ‘really good at drawing boobs’, but that’s not all. Her drawings not only make you giggle, but also manage to be diverse and inclusive. She makes you laugh without making light of the issue.
A single criticism of the book for me (although totally subjective) is the colour of the front cover. While the inside is beautifully laid out, with a balance between Perry’s illustrations and writing, you have to get past the headache-inducing pink first. I can see arguments for the pink both in taste (eurgh) and from a feminist perspective (fair), but I also find the colouring of feminist literature as pink a little bit uninspired.
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My book comes out in a new more affordable, cargo-pant-pocket-friendly, paperback size a week today. My cat doesn't seem to sure about it but I think it looks fab. And now it has a quote from Lorraine Kelly on it so I know it's definitely good. Available wherever you like buying books from.
That being said, I whole heartedly recommend the read. It’s not only a book that I think women of all ages could benefit from reading, it’s also something that I think could really speak to boys/men (as well as people of all or no genders).
By Kahina Bouhassane